wondering

I'm just wondering about my own feeling for now. i'm not really sure about it. am i sad? am i happy? or maybe i'm not feeling both of them.

there's one moment when i feel so shocked, knowing how "somebody that i used to know" doing something like that to me. but deep, really deep inside my heart, i trust him. i trust that everything that happen is just a misunderstanding. that he would never do something like that. i mean, what's the point of him doing that? hahaha, if i think back again, what will he get by doing that? impossible! maybe there's just really something going wrong. without even he doesn't know. and why should i bother? it really just a small thing.

so i calm and trying to not care. honestly it surprise me so much that i don't really care about it. like, so what?? hahaha..

but like i said before, i don't really understand about my own feeling. i think i'm not sad, but then i found my self feel so "jenuh". like i want to throw away all the things that burden me. so what am i doing??

i dress up. i take some photos, editing it, change my profile on twitter, going out with my friends, calling my family and now i fell so much better.

my felling always fluctuate.. i don't know, but i think it's normal. and i think i should enjoy it all. because it means i'm stilll alive. i'm not just a bunch of meat that can't feel or think.