Confession of a fangirl

just decided to publish this post which had been on the draft since last month, it supposed to be published at 29th of june..kekekeke.. why do i decided to publish it now? hmm.. i don't know, i just feel it's okay to publish it now... honestly since it's an old post, the content is not really up to date. but since the real content of  this post is my feeling, it should be fine.. ahh.. just an additional info, btob didn't get their first win this comeback, but i'm still happy since they achieved 2nd place and they got some cfs and become endorser too.. even got title as trending and healing-dol <3.. BTOB fighting!!



in the middle of my study when i just happen to take a break to open my twitter and yeah.. i'm here, writing, overwhelming  with emotion.... i suppose to write here before to celebrate my 10.000 views, but unfortunately i can't do it yet. but look who's here now, writing about other stuff, kekkekeke..

i know it maybe looks like i'm overreacting, or maybe i'm just a fool, and i don't act according to my age, i know it! i feel so stupid too... but this is some kind of emotion i just happen to have for the first time. so, even if you can't understand me and feeling "meh" when you saw this post, please just ignore it, okay? i just want to let this emotion go through this post, so, here's my story..

have you ever love someone it hurts? yes, i believe everyone ever feel that way. but have you ever like (a lot) someone you never meet, you don't know personally, just admiring them from far away ? i did, and i know many of fangirls feel the same way. it's not the first time i become a fangirl, but it's the first time it's to the point i cried because both of happiness and sadness..

BTOB is a group whom not getting any wins in more than 3 years. many said they underrated, their popularity is not really high, they are nugu and else and else and else.. i don't have to said about that too much.. i begin to following them after beep beep era. lucky me, it must be already a quite better era.. their first comeback i know is you're so fly.. that time, the respon is not really good. me, myself honestly not really like the stage too.. but i know a lot of melodies work hard to make them win. i know btob want to win so bad too.. i feel so sorry that they can't make it. there are some articles that bashing them too.. it's so frustating and that's the first time i'm crying just because of a group. stupid isn't it? i feel terribly sorry that time.. looking how they celebrate vixx's wins (they really close with vixx) , being happy there for vixx. i don't know.. it's just sad...  i saw sungjae's and eunkwang's tweet saying something like it's okay, but why i feel like it's not (for me).

then come winter's tale era.. it's better.. a lot better.. but they still not reaching it yet. everything is so sudden, yet i feel quite happy since there's a lot of good reviews..

since the first time i love btob i promise myself that i want to watch them grow. i want to see them reach the top. even though everything is going so slow, but i hope one day their day will come. first fanmeeting, first concert, japan debut, everything they achieve one by one after some of times.. i hope then  i can smile like a proud mother.. many sunbae praises them like btob is a group with no hole. but why they haven't get any recognition?
"but isn't it when we love someone we become blind? maybe i just overated them for myself?" that's always being my thought. i'm going between become so confidence and not when it come to btob. i always questioning my self. i know i'm a bad fan.

and then, they just comeback! yesterday!
with a title song called "it's okay"
show their skill. ballad, touching mv and i totally love it.

for the first time they reach #1 in melon. i feel so happy yesterday night that tears nearly flow.. i want to jump and scream but i hold myself..  i saw melodies become so happy and btob is happy too. finally. finally...

maybe it's just a small thing for other group. what's so special of being no 1 in melon?

but for btob and melody, it's something precious.. it's already a great achievement for us, because it's the first time.. you see?
it's a touching moment i want to remember as a sweet memories of my "fangirling era". leadah said it only beginning, i know, but i already feel so thankful for that one result.. after 3 years and 3 months. 1 step that btob make. it's precious because we never experience this after so long..

and just now, i literally cry. (oh i know it's stupid). at first i saw the news that they got a uniform cf, i though "oh finally.. another good news, melody want it too and it become a reality" some said that only popular idol could be one and i thought " ahh, they slowly going there.." "good good". and then i just scrolling through timeline when i saw something about their press conference. as i listening to Ilhoon's "everything good" tears start to fall.. btob said that their staff crying yesterday night as they got no 1. and they are so happy till they can't shoot something they have to shoot and go eat instead. even their staff who works for them is craving for btob's recognition. how hard working must them to make their own staff crying like that just like me?? but why am i crying? ahahahh  maybe i just feel like slowly my hope come true. to see them reach the top one day. i'm happy just because there's some good things happen to them..kekekeke.. i'm not good at explaining things, but as a fan who saw them from that time it's hard till now when they can get some recognition it feels so meaningfull. it's a happiness you can't get just anywhere. i know it really just a small thing but as i said it really is a happiness..

thank you btob for this feeling i experience. it's only a beginning!

i hope you all the best babies<3

last one, please watch their mv.. kekeke. thank you!