in the middle of calm twilight

rain outside my room.. cold, but i like it.
its sound, its smell.
i like rain, always.

it's not always give me benefit, sometimes it has bad effect too.
my clothes wet, my shoes too. but i don't really mind for now. i still have some days of holiday left. i'm not in hurry to get my clothes dry.

today is 2 days before christmas.

do you remember about christmas?
you might not remember.
but i do.
how can i forget?

i'm not fully regretting it.
but, if only.
if only i hold back my feelings, my curiosity just a bit.
we might be not in this state right now.
1 year. it won't took that long too.
if only.

i'm not saying, it's still the same.
it just.. hmm.. i can't cut it clearly.
something remains here. in my heart. that hope.

it's not that i can't move on.
i don't think like that.
i open up my heart,
but it just..
i can't find another one.
not because you still exist
but because, i just haven't met him yet.
that person whom can make my heart beating as fast as when i see you.

so, i will just wait.
till that person come.
till i find him.

just like this calm twilight. quietly.